Have you ever had a fantasy house lingering in the imaginative quarters of your mind? Well, I’ve never had a particular house of dreams, but one thing that I’d dearly enjoy about my imaginary house, is that it would have tons and tons of rooms. There would be halls that linked only certain rooms together, in strange, irrational ways. There would be nooks and crannies and alcoves that are hard to get to, or that are hidden and tucked away in odd places. Some rooms would lead to other rooms without even passing through a corridor. And there definitely must be a spire! I love spires! Of course, it would be terrible if you had misplaced something and you had to go searching for it. But, that’s an adventure in itself. Anyway, enjoy my latest find in the surreal fantasy world of art: Jacek Yerka.
Polish artist Jacek Yerka fulfills all my imaginative cravings for a crazy home or bedroom. Let me be your real-estate agent and see if I can tempt you into seeing how great these homes are…but be warned, there’s no room for the typical logic-head here!
Let’s start with the possible new homes for sale in the neighborhood….
If you like a home that’s nice and cosily tucked beside another’s, you’ll love a house here! This house complex may be unraveling in the wind a bit, but, on the plus side, you’ll have a tower (not to mention a drawbridge)! Everyone’s jostling for the best view so you’ll have to be quick…
Or perhaps, instead of a view of the plains, you’d prefer the sea? This house will give you ample viewpoints to peer north, south, east and west! Find yourself a good captain, and you can navigate it out to sea, which also seems to blend into the sky…
Still not satisfied with the occasional trip asea? Well this home will put you airborn, among the stormy clouds and breathtaking sky, rooftops skimming the belly of the beast. Just be careful of the lightning…
For those of you wanting a bit of two worlds, such a impossible demand is somehow happening for this home. Live with the deep sea creatures at one end of your cave-like home, then, if you get bored, hop over to the other end of your home that faces the ports and breathe in the salty sea air!
I see you have a preference for reptilians! Well, I have the perfect domicile for you! Though, perhaps it needs some repair work on the crumbling walls and roof. The crocodilians have lived there on their own for far too long.
Plunge into the ocean, or slide down the pier in this sunlit community of ocean lovers. This is a gated community so you won’t have strangers roaming around and taking advantage of your private pool. You can’t find an estate in the tropics like this one now-a-days.
Looking for a nice community? The neighborhood on the left is mostly inhabited by the lovestruck victims of mer-enchantments. But, to your advantage, you’ll have plenty of lounging space on all those balconies!
Below, I have a selection that’s limited time only! These cottage folk are adverse to strangers….unless you’ve proven you love a certain variety of fruit as much as they do. It’s a nice, quiet domain in the countryside, all your children will grow up together and learn the apple-harvesting trade (though the real problem is finding people to cart it all away)!
Looking for a home that’s well-lit? Need I say more? This place is perfect for all you late-night readers. And, you’ll never lose track of time here… or ever be cold, for that matter. Do not worry about fires, there are ample escape ‘roots’ available including trap doors, windows, balconies, gaps between the roots.
Maybe you’re living in the Old Kingdom, and you need to make sure you don’t get attacked by the undead very often. Well, there’s plenty of running water here, and lots of lookout points. Don’t complain, it’s hard to find a castle like the ones the Abhorsens own. This should do just the same to serve your need for security.
Now, if you’re heart isn’t satisfied with the outdoor locale and look of your home, it will be, when I show you some of the fantastical chambers available.
First, this bathroom has nice access to the wilderness beyond, in case, on a sudden whim, you decide to embark on a safari (of you imagination!!).
Above, is a kitchen with a nice assortment of kitchenware complete with groggy looking cat. The previous owners left in a hurry, probably through the wall-that’s-not-a-wall-but-a-field. So help yourself to some eggs and oatmeal! As your very trustworthy real estate agent, however, I must warn you that large clouds of unknown origin speed across the fields occasionally. And you should probably clear up the mess under the sink, as something’s probably growing there.
How about a nice cosy room with a view? Again, the room on the left is strictly for those who are reptile and rodent lovers. You can’t expect to evict those poor creatures out into the world like that can you? (they’re used to comfortable indoor conditions!) I believe the previous owners have left you a TV set… along with an assortment of tools and musical instruments.
Not satisfied with the room above? How about the strawberry extravaganza below? Sleep in a room that always smells of strawberries and flowers. Where you can always hear the soft swish of the wheat blowing in the wind. Just make sure you don’t forget to feed the golden carp regularly!
Now this bedroom is for those who don’t mind living underneath a host of tiny people. But, not to worry, they’ll help you with your cleaning, and keep the fire going on long, cold, gusty nights. They don’t weigh very much, if that’s what you’re thinking…
Have any children? They’ll enjoy this bedroom. Sail right into it, on a rocky boat, and say hello to the tapirs and monkeys already there. By the way, the jaguar visits occasionally when it’s bored of the jungle, so make sure your child is aware of the dangers of doing homework on that table!
Ah, coming back to our selection of washrooms. This one’s got interesting things growing out of the walls and floor, to keep your mind entertained while your doing your business. Don’t be surprised if your soap dish scuttles across the floor, or your toilet bowl slams shut on its own.
Be rocked to sleep by the softly lapping waves that come with this bedroom. If you’re afraid of missing that bus in the morning, not to worry, a Clock tree grows right next to your bedstand! The only thing is, there’s probably only room for one, so your pooch will have to stay on land.
Finally, we have a beautiful estate maze-garden, populated by swans. Feel the crisp fresh air that lingers here. The gardeners did a good job maintaining the pristine tranquility in this garden. You’ll feel at peace here, on those days when you need to get away from the clutter and chaos of life.
It’s tough being a real estate agent, but I’m sure you’ll find someplace to house your imagination in these dreamscape listings I’ve provided. If not, why not build your own? Or, for more selections of Jacek Yerka’s architectural feats of imagination, check out Dark Roasted Blends. You’re just too picky for your own good!